Sunday, December 28, 2008

Why?

When will we learn?
Or should I say, when will my husband learn? He bought the girls mini-keyboards for Hanukkah. OMG.

YOU CANNOT IMAGINE THE DEAFENING MELODIES EMANATING FROM MY HOUSE WHILE MY TWO GIRLS PLAY THEIR G.D. KEYBOARDS SIMULTANEOUSLY AT F&%$ING 7:00 A.M.

I am not wholly innocent myself, as I gave the green light when he suggested toy guitars. However, I have already had to confiscate these as Izzy has seriously injured multiple knuckles/fingers by strumming a bit over zealously. She really did a number on herself and hopefully learned a valuable lesson. But regardless, the guitars have been hidden away until the rather large scabs disappear. Tonight, the last night of Hanukkah, they will get a nice, quiet gift----a dress up trunk of princess garb. That should be relatively harmless....right?!?!!?

The girls have really enjoyed Hanukkah this year and have helped light the candles each night. They are also repeating the prayers along with us, which is pretty darn cute. We did not give them gifts every night, but they got gifts from grandparents some of the nights...

It's been a long week on call for Dan, and I feel for him. But it's nearly over, and then he'll be off for New Year's.

What is everyone doing for NYE?

Thursday, December 25, 2008

missing Emilie

It is Christmas Day, my girls are napping, and despite having had a lovely morning with them, I continue to be consumed by thoughts of Emilie (http://lemmondrops.blogspot.com/), who passed away earlier this week after battling cancer.

I "met" Emilie via a TTC (trying to conceive) message board I was a member of several years back, and I think she may have even been on The Knot boards before that, but I can't remember for sure. At any rate, I began reading her blog at that point (long before I started my own, obviously) and although we never met, I feel like I've lost a dear friend. I always eagerly awaited her blog updates, hoping for good news. I was stunned last week to read that she was under home hospice care, and even more shocked when she passed away so quickly once that move was made.

Emilie was an incredible writer, and a mother of two darling boys, Daniel and Benjamin. She is also survived by her husband, Steve. I ache for all of them. I am sad that Christmas for them will forever be tainted by the memory of losing their mother and wife. Nonetheless, I am relieved Emilie's passing was peaceful and that she was surrounded by her family. I cannot begin to imagine what they are all going through.

My heart is breaking. I feel helpless. I live far away. I wish there was something I could do. All I know is Emilie was special to me and she will be greatly missed. I keep going to her blog out of habit, and hoping for another update from Steve. I wonder if he will continue to post, or if it will be too painful...?

Emilie, you were loved by soooo many people. You touched so many lives. You were beloved. And I love your quote. and you are right---CANCER SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sunday, December 21, 2008

Yay!




Thank you to Monica, my idol at Ruby Chickadee :http://rubychickadee.blogspot.com/, for bestowing this award upon me. I'm not quite sure I qualify as "Kreativ," but who am I to refuse?

I am to make a list of six things that make me happy before I pass this award on to other bloggers.



  1. I am happy that we have a roof over our heads, food to eat, clothes to wear, and similar things I tend to take for granted;


  2. I am happy to have my daughters-- I appreciate their tolerance of and patience with me;


  3. I am happy for the experience of motherhood, the most precious gift;


  4. I am happy to have my husband. He is my rock;


  5. I am happy to have my parents, my brothers, my aunt and uncles, my niece, my sister-in-law, my cousins...without family where would any of us be?


  6. I am happy for the friends I have made over many years---some friends whose faces I've never seen, whose words and thoughts I have only read...as well as those whom I've grown up with or met over the years, those I talk to regularly.


I pass this award on to (and I am sorry I haven't figured out how to post a link without writing out the web address, GRRR):


http://www.lemmondrops.blogspot.com/

http://www.dooce.com/

http://sarcasticmom.com/

http://www.whitetrashmom.com/

http://mommyandher2boys.blogspot.com

Saturday, December 20, 2008

in tears

a beautiful woman and mother of two boys---Emilie---whose blog i regularly follow (Lemmondrops) has begun the end of her very long journey. i am speechless and sad. she has been such an inspiration and although we've never met, i feel like i know her and she constantly amazes and impresses me.

the day feels very dark. i feel very sad for her and her husband and two young boys. i pray for an easy and safe journey. and i hope she realizes how many lives she's touched.

my heart goes out to you and your family, Emilie. you are amazing. thank you for everything.

Saturday, December 13, 2008

Bust-Laid Plans

So, in my continuing quest to be attractive to my husband and make an effort with my appearance, I put on a retired lace bra this evening. I think although I purchased this bra with aforementioned bust intentions (ok, bad joke), it has rarely, if ever, actually been worn. Instead it has been hibernating in a drawer, crammed underneath lots of other more reliable/comfortable/practical underthings.

Not long after I donned said bra, I began itching furiously. There is nothing more un-sexy than a woman scratching her chest and constantly adjusting herself in hopes that it will stop.

Scritch. Scra-a-a-a-atch. Itch. Scritch scratch. Itchy itchy. What are there, bugs in my blouse?

"What is wrong with you?" Dan asked, looking at me in utter horror. Even the dog looked at me curiously. I peeked down my shirt and noted that a red rash was quickly spreading over my skin.

I tried to explain to Dan that Issac Mizrahi suggests if you start with beautiful underthings, you will begin to feel more beautiful and radiate confidence, etc. He rolled his eyes, clearly not understanding me. I stormed into our bedroom, yanked off the offending article of clothing, replaced it with my boring, same everyday brassiere and here I sit relating this tale.

This is precisely why I have such a hard time sticking with this sort of thing, this "making an effort." I just end up with a rash and a husband who thinks I'm one sandwich short of a picnic.

Friday, December 12, 2008

one of those days

Dear Diary,

It's one of those days around here, you know the ones.

I stepped in dog poop. I yelled at my kids. I have a zit on my chin. My hair is inexcusably nasty. I need to exercise more. The stomach flu is going around and I'm worried our number is nearly up. The house is a mess. I can't keep up. We're moving in February. I don't know what I'm doing. Thank goodness we have a decorator now, but I think he thinks I'm a moron and we don't have a clue (we don't).

I go in fits and spurts where I work harder to be a better mom & wife, and then I fall off the wagon. I can never keep all the balls in the air at once. I want to cry. I want to be the perfect mom, supermom, superwife. But I can't. As soon as I get one facet of my life under control, something else falls by the wayside. I might start cooking more/cooking better, but then I'm not putting as much effort into my appearance. Or I might make a real effort to do more things with the girls and limit the tv, but then dinner doesn't get made (or it turns out poorly b/c I am multitasking, or because I forgot 2 of the ingredients as I was chasing my twins through the grocery store).

I don't know how my friends who work and have little ones do it. I feel like I should be able to do this and do it easily/well. I have excuses for everything...like most recently, Dan was sick and also the girls have been waking lots at night for various reasons---Abby to pee, and Izzy due to ear pain (and let's not even go there b/c I am so stressed and tied up in knots about that---we just got confirmation her tubes have fallen out). So sleep isn't something any of us are getting much of lately. So then I am automatically more prone to skipping workouts, or to putting a frozen pizza in the oven, or to leaving the tv on to help me catch up on other things....

We are taking the girls to see the Doo Dads tonight at the Record Bar in Westport. Perhaps that will help make up for what a terrible mother I am!

Monday, December 8, 2008

2nd Birthday---The Terrible Two's Begin...


The celebration culminated in all 6 girls (3 sets of twins) jumping on Abby & Izzy's new "big girl beds."












Our Fam. Dan's holding Izzy and I have Abby.
I look skinny!















Abby















Izzy












Abby

December 8- 9, 2005

Three years ago today, I had what we affectionately refer to as the "Labor Lunch," at Circe with Dan and his dad. We braved 7-8 inches of fresh snow to get me a grilled cheese and french fries at Dan's friend Nate's restaurant. It was the best grilled cheese EVER. While some people have actually suggested it was the drastic change in barometric pressure (large weather systems can often send many women into labor), I prefer to credit Nate's cooking. The following morning when I went in for a regular non-stress test, it appeared I was in active labor (but didn't know it because I'd been experiencing very strong contractions for several weeks prior to the birth that required medication to stop/slow down). A nurse spotted me in the waiting room and I don't know if it was my pale, pained face or the sight of a nearly 200-pound woman (that would be me) trying to curl into the fetal position in a very small, uncomfortable chair....but she came up to me and asked if it was my "time." I looked at her hopefully and asked, "What do you mean?" She said, "Well, when some women are about to give birth, they get that look, and you have that look right now. Let's get you into a room and see what's going on." They hooked me and the girls up to monitors and I kept watching my belly tighten and stay high and hard with a few very brief releases here and there. They confirmed I was 3 cm dilated, fully effaced, and moved me to a room. Oh, and I almost forgot---after this appointment I was supposed to go to Dan's office where we were throwing him a surprise baby shower. But I never made it and was so disappointed. Oh well. My doctor started an IV and told me we'd go back to the OR around 1:00 for my scheduled C-section. Dan ran home to let the dog out, and grab my suitcase, etc. They took me back right on time and the girls were born at 1:46 (Abby) and 1:47 (Izzy) p.m. on Friday, December 9, 2005.




From this (day 5 embryos just prior to transfer)...










To this....(approx. 32-33 weeks pregnant)



The Big Day--12/09/05, in the O.R.
Our first pic as a family of four!



The girls in the NICU, day 2 or day 3 of life.
Abby (L) and Izzy (R)




Mommy and Abby







Let Them Eat Cake: Turning 1

As the girls' third birthday is tomorrow, I thought it would be fun to look over the last few years to see how far they've come. Only I'm a total moron and am struggling with Blogger and posting photos....so you'll just have to deal with a few separate posts instead of one large one. My biggest obstacle right now is order of pics in a post....I'm thinking there surely must be a way to move/manipulate the photos around within the draft. But instead, I feel stuck with the order in which I load them up, which it also seems I have no control over, because as soon as I upload them, they just pop up in the body of the post regardless of where my cursor had been just prior. ARGHHHHHHHHH. Oh well. I digress.



Abby is exhausted by this whole birthday cake thing.











Izzy mostly just played with her cake.













Clearly Abby takes after her mother when it comes to sweets--better dig in quick before someone else tries to snatch it away!











Abby (L) and Izzy (R) on their first birthday.




Thursday, December 4, 2008

soooo sleepy

I haven't been posting much lately...too much drama going on. Family drama, Abby drama (lots of night waking/issues), house stuff (we finally hired a decorator and I wish we'd done so much much sooner), holidays (my mom and Kevin were here for Thanksgiving), etc....the girls' third birthday is next week and their party is on Sunday. I hope it all goes off without a hitch. Not likely, considering Dan's on double ER call all weekend. I'm praying for a quiet Sunday morning at the very least (all we need is 2 hours, please God) at both hospitals so that we can enjoy it as a family.

On another note, a friend of mine joined Jazzercise and we are going together this afternoon with all 4 of our kids. I made her promise not to laugh at me, seeing as I lack proper coordination and am generally 1-2 steps behind everyone else. But at least the kids can play together and I have more motivation to go to class. Thanks, Wendy!

Abby has been waking lots during the night, driving me bonkers. Sometimes she's sleepwalking/talking in her sleep. Sometimes she wants a drink of water or is tangled up in her covers. But the newest thing is that she needs to potty in the wee (pun intended) hours of the morning (i.e. 4-5:30 a.m.). While I am proud of her for staying dry all night, this new development is exhausting. I suppose I need to start limiting her liquid intake or talk to her lots about taking herself potty in the night (not sure how this will go and whether or not she'll wake Izzy in the process). I'll need to get another night light for their bathroom, too. And it would be helpful if she'd wear Pull Ups to bed (long story, but we can't use them. and whenever I put her to sleep in panties, she wets her bed. but every time she sleeps in a diaper, she wakes up dry the next day)....I am sure it's a phase just like anything else, and it doesn't help that she's cutting some new molars. It may simply be that she's uncomfortable and therefore not sleeping as well/as soundly as usual. We have our 3-year checkup next week, and our pediatrician is great about helping with these sorts of things. If I can make it for another week! Ack!
in the meantime,
ZZzzzzZZzzZzZzzzZzzzzZzzzZ.
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