10 Reasons Not To Travel With Young Children, or Remind me NEVER TO DO THIS AGAIN

1.) Parents generally have routines for their own sanity a reason. When kids fall out of their routines, you unleash all sorts of demons it's not pretty. It gets all kinds of ugly. Ugly like you ain't never seen before. They're whiny and tired and uncooperative. But wait, is that so different from the rest of the time?

2.) Little kids do not comprehend the concept of running to catch a connecting flight. Said kids begin to cry, stop cold in their tracks, and ask to be carried from gate D 5 to gate D 35. Impossible when I am already schlepping my purse, carry on, their jackets, etc. Not to mention they weigh 30 pounds each.We made it just.in.time. Lucky for them.

3.) Kids regress when traveling. Kids who previously slept through the night now suddenly wake every 2-3 hours. It's deja vu. Only no more bottles/nighttime feedings. One child also decides it's a good idea to poop in her pull-up one morning at 6 a.m., which literally hasn't happened in a year and a half. REGRESSION, I tell ya. It's super fun.

4.) When I go home to New Orleans, I like to booze it up at my favorite old haunts catch up with old friends and stay out sorta late and act like I have a life. But then I come back to mom's house, fall into bed after midnight, only to be awakened at 2 a.m. and 5 a.m. (see # 3). So while I do have a free babysitter (thanks, mom!), I probably should have come home earlier and gotten more rest.

5.) Little kids don't get that those plane rides carried us far, far away from home. Little kids are asking to go to Winstead's for lunch, but lo and behold, WE'RE NOT IN KANSAS ANYMORE. There is no Winstead's in New Orleans. Fortunately there are plenty of other places to get greasy kiddie food like burgers and fries.

6.) A normal one-hour plane ride is not a big deal. Until you have two little children, one sitting on either side of you. Sammiches and snacks I packed last approximately 5-7 minutes (they're done before the plane has even taken off). Then we can chew some gum until someone spits hers into the aisle, forcing me to unbuckle myself to grab it before it bonds with the flight attendant's black pumps. We have a portable dvd player, but the plane engine is too loud, so we need to use headphones. Only the headphones keep popping off, they are pinching, blah blah blah. Then they're thirsty and hungry again and asking "Are we there yet?" every 2.5 minutes. One-hour flight feels like four by the time the flight attendant hands me my Mommy Juice. Best $7 I ever spent.

7.) Not only do you have to deal with the plane ride to your destination, but more plane rides to get back home. And there is no direct flight from KC to NOLA. So two flights each way. Double the pleasure, double the fun.

8.) Every time we fly I have to re-instill fear of airplane bathrooms. I refuse to take my kids into one unless it's a dire emergency. Too small, too gross, and I can almost see the bacteria multiplying before my eyes as my children touch every surface. They may as well lick the floor in there.

9.) Even grandparents get tired. It's nice for me to get a little break and have extra hands, but even the most doting grandma gets exhausted by the antics of three kids (my two plus my niece).

10.) The prep, packing, and accumulating exhaustion can sometimes outweigh any pleasure the trip brings. Sometimes I just ask myself, "Is it worth it?" I don't know. I do know it can only get easier....and I'm ready for that.