Top 10 Reasons I Can't Leave the House Today. But I'm Not a Hermit, I Swear.

1.) Laundry. Mountains of it. Created predominantly by two hooligans who feel compelled to change outfits multiple times a day to keep up with the latest Target fashions. Then I can't remember what was truly dirty to begin with, and/or I can't find a spot/stain, so I just chuck it all back through the wash again. Izzy pees through her Pull-Up most nights, so I wash sheets a lot thank goodness Abby sleeps in panties and stays dry. Let's not even talk about all the track marks in their princess panties. You moms who think dealing with your kids' poop ends with potty training? I laugh at you. No, see, here's the rub: they can wipe, and they do wipe, but they do not do a good job. Ewww. So I bond with my Method detergent, my eco-friendly stain spray, and my washing machine. It's true love, people. I do so much laundry that I deserve one of these beauties for Hanukkah. And a matching dryer. Not necessarily in red, but you get the idea.

2.) I haven't showered in 3+ days. I used to shower daily, but that was prior to having children. Now showering is a luxury, one I can rarely afford. My options are: (a) shower with little people whining and pounding on the door to tattle at regular intervals; (b) wake up at the ass crack of dawn to shower before the little hags wake up; or (c) shower with them while they point at my va-jay-jay and ask me when they will grow boobies. Anylazy, (d) I'm too tired by the time I corral their little asses into bed at night to shower then. So three days without any soap or shampoo = pretty ripe. Better stay in.

3.) I am too busy cramming Cheez-its in my mouth and washing them down with Honest Tea while watching all the shows I have saved on my DVR, like Brothers & Sisters, Grey's Anatomy, Dexter, Gossip Girl, and Man vs. Food. Me and the couch? We're like in love. Actually, this is just a fantasy of mine.

4.) I had a bikini wax the day before. So there's that initial uncomfortable chafing thing that either no one talks about or only I am privy to. Also there could still be remnants of blue-green wax stubbornly stuck to my lady bits so that mere walking is like a second round of waxing.

5.) I was too busy cleaning the house because The Father Load is hosting a Journal Club tonight with many very important medical people. They come over, eat Oklahoma Joe's, use too many plastic cups and paper plates you have no idea how this irks me and laugh at me when I put our recycling bins on the patio to prompt them to do the right green thing. And then my whole house which was previously clean and smelling like Mrs. Meyers products now reeks like a barbeque joint and stale beer. Gross.

6.) I am still learning the ways of the vegetarian woman. I haven't yet determined the proper ratio of salads and fruit to beans and nuts that won't offend my delicate intestinal tract. When I overdose, my body rebels and leaving the house becomes impossible.



7.) I'm addicted to your blogs. I love reading them. Alas, so many wonderful blogs, so little time. I also love writing blogs. And did I mention reading blogs? I thrive on the connections I'm making with people. I've made so many friends and I've come out of my shell because I've read about you coming out of yours. Thank you. I'm in love with you. You've taught me how to use this noggin of mine that's been dormant for so long. You keep my heart open, my mind sharp, and my body moving. You teach me things every day. THANK YOU for being so delicious that I can't leave my computer all day. Hello, my name is Erin, and I'm addicted to BlogLand.

8.) My children are being such hellions that I am afraid to take them out in public for fear of being shunned. People will look at me and I'll be that mom. You know who I'm talking about--- that yelling, red-faced, screaming banshee who's completely out of control. My shopping cart will be full of bribes like Twinkies, Zhu Zhu pets, Halloween candy, coloring books, pop tarts, and all manner of ridiculous crap. I also might start to imagine something like this is a good solution:



9.) I have this eyebow obsession problem. See, if I don't pluck my caterpillars eyebrows, I might look something like this. And this is being kind, people:


So, I pluck and pluck and pluck (don't tell me to get 'em waxed because I'm incapable of not plucking until the next wax, can't tolerate the strays---I am slightly OCD, remember?). And then I have all these lovely red pock marks between my eyes and my eyebrows and I look scary for a day. So I can't leave the house.

10.) I have absolutely no idea what goes here. But I got nine, so that's good, right?

I'm Tickled Pink to have Francis taking over my blog today!

Today I'm TICKLED PINK to let Francis take over my blog! I met her on Twitter (she's @hipcop) a while ago, and my life hasn't been the same since. She is consistently kind, generous, and full of compliments for everyone. She was in the navy for several years and is now a SAHM who loves running, nature, and John Grisham. Her blog, This Inspires Me, is a treat, and every time I stop by to read, it makes me feel good. So let's roll out the red carpet and give Francis the warm welcome she deserves!

Francis & her husband in Maui

Hi! My name is Francis Anderson and I am SO honored to be invading "The Mother Load." I am a proud and happy stay-at-home-mom to two gorgeous boys. My loving husband Rob puts up with me (I mean loves me) and encourages me in all I do! I live in Texas ;)

When did you start blogging and why?

I began blogging in March of this year. I was motivated to get my blog running to enter a Mabel Label's contest that I didn't win! My blog theme is inspiration and I blog about people and events that inspire me. I blog because I love people. I love hearing about personal journeys, successes, and amazing individual efforts. I love to learn.

What advice do you have for bloggers?

I learn from my mistakes. I am not a writer but I am having fun. Following a lot of different blogs has also taught me to not limit my content. Don't be afraid to try something new.

What has and hasn't worked for you?

What has worked for me is getting involved in the blogging community. I only use 'Twitter' and devote a lot of time promoting my blog there. I am always looking for blogs to read and comment on. I love leaving comments that spark conversation and get the bloggers to respond to me!

What hasn't worked for me is patience! I just assumed if I did a blog everyone would love it! ;) Not sure why I'm not super successful (kidding)! I'm too new and just learning as I go.

A funny story you would tell me if I met you.

I was in the Navy. I have always loved risk and adventure. I outdid myself one day by diving off the side of the ship during swim call. With 300 people watching I landed the worst belly flop ever that still hurts when I think about it! My belly is permanently red!

When you get writer's block how do you snap out of it?

I read. I visit the library, blogs, and I Google interesting words. I change the radio station in the car to see if a song will inspire me to write. I look up a calender in Google to see what events in history happened during this time.

What inspires you?

People. I love how we are all different and have our own stories. We can learn a lot from each other.

What is the BEST advice you ever received?

Life is what you make of it. I learned this in the Navy during a depressing day. I have never forgotten those words.

What crazy memory makes you laugh?

I was camping with my boyfriend (now husband) in Sedona when we heard footsteps in the dark and thought we were getting attacked by a bear. He valiantly looked me in the eyes and said "I love you" very "Brave Heart" style with a log in his hand ready to fight the bear. It turned out to be a cow! Still makes me laugh 11 years later!

I met Erin and fell in love with her blog. She has been supportive, encouraging, and very fun to follow! I am a huge fan of her and her blog. Thanks Erin!

Ways to follow me:

I blog here: http://thisinspires.me/

Follow me on Twitter here: http://twitter.com/hipcop

The Empress of Good Day Regular People Tickles Me Pink!

Today I'm collaborating with Holly of 504 Main. I'm highlighting one of my favorite bloggers, The Empress. Her blog, Good Day, Regular People, Tickles Me Pink. You can find her on Twitter via @GDRPempress. Alexandra has blown me away most recently with her hysterical three-part series on "When Someone You Love Has a Blog," which you can read here, here, & here. I identify with her so much it's rather scary. She is brilliant, kind, and an incredible writer. Because she Tickles Me Pink, I asked her if she would do me the honor of guest posting, and she kindly agreed. So without further adieu, I give to you The Empress! I'm certain you'll love her as much as I do!

Commisery Loves Company  by The Empress at Good Day Regular People

Commiseration. Yes, sometimes commiseration can be the best solution.

I have been thinking about the blogs I frequent often, the ones I jump up to check on each day. What keeps me returning there? Why do I like them and look forward to their posting? It's what I find there: moods that match my own on some days, other days it's a place where "they get it." I don't want answers to my problems, I just want to be somewhere where it's OK to be who I am. With no feelings of needing to impress, or pretend to be something I'm really not.

I've read that "water seeks its own level" and "water seeks the path of least resistance." And that is what a "blogfriend" does. They're easy, they get you, they know what you like. When we find ourselves complaining, or feeling short ended on this life gig sometimes (we're only human, right?) it's strangely and curiously uplifting to find someone muddling through, too. There is something about the "safety" you feel at a favorite blog. You can be comfortable in your reaction and your response, and what you say in the little square box, because you know that there can be a difference in opinion, and you're still good.

Sometimes, we just want to be understood. Sometimes, we don't want a solution. We just want to nod "yes, yes, yes" and let that be all there is to it. And laughing along in recognition of it all lightens the load. So does tearing up at a post they may write that cuts right to your heart.

You can't really describe chemistry, or put a formula to why you feel drawn to a specific blogger and their site. If we could, we could all buy the book and begin blogs and sell them later for mega grande dollars, or at least a few thousand.

You can't really figure out how you find your "tribe," your group of women that make up your daily life as much as your family and co workers, and physical friends do.

You begin blogging one day, and then little by little, and one by one, you meet people that bring joy to your life, people who make you smile excitedly when you see it's them on comments, or in an email, or a tweet, or the sweetest of all: "a direct message to you from..." on twitter.

I think we all just want to belong to a part of something larger than what we have just physically around us, we want to be accepted, and be the larger collective of what we are like, what is important to us. Finding our values and sharing what is dear to us, tethers and binds us to others. We no longer feel alone, and misunderstood, a stranger in a strange land.

There are times, yes, when we truly want a fix, a solution, resources, help, ideas...but there are, more often than not, just times when we only want to hear, "me, too!" Times when we want to know that someone misses our presence in their life that day. We want to know that we matter, and that someone likes us being part of their world. It's nice to know that someone is thinking of us when they wrote a post. It's nice to know that we, also, have somewhere to go with feelings we have inside, or news we want to share, or when we need someone to listen at 1:00 a.m.

Commiseration, sometimes just the sweet balm we need, and no more.