Sort of Wordless Wednesday: Me vs. My Mandoline (& no, that is NOT the instrument)

Ladies and gentlemen, meet my nemesis, my newly purchased mandoline. For you idiots people out there who think that's an instrument, please refer to your dictionary immediately. Anykitchentool, because WWMD (What Would Martha Do) is always my mantra when I'm in the kitchen, I knew I had to own a mandoline. But I wasn't willing to go for the gold; no, I had to buy the el cheapo OXO brand from Bed, Bath & Beyond.

Never again.

And perhaps never again will I have perfect juliennes, and thus Martha Stewart will never be my BFF.

This, my friends, is what happens when The Mother Load (who is accident prone to begin with and completely klutz-i-fied) steps not-so-gingerly into the ring with the wrong kitchen tool:

Here, let me give you "The Finger."

I'm just joking---not giving you the bird, but hard to photograph it.

Now compare the tips of both fingers. Not hard to see which one is injured.

The Father Load had to cauterize my finger with silver nitrate, which was so not fun, but it stopped the bleeding. Nevermind that my screaming propelled my progeny into utter hysterics (methinks fingertips are loaded with nerve endings). #MomFail. Should've thought to remove the girls from the house before hubs attempted to fix my boo boo.

Needless to say, typing has become slow and problematic.

What valuable lessons have you learned today?

If you don't already own these, make sure you buy them for yourself before Hanukkah/Christmas/Kwanzaa!

This year, treat yourself to two of my favorite kitchen gadgets, both brought to you by Crate & Barrel.

First, the Rub Away Bar. I love this thing!! I cook with a lot of onions and garlic, and we also try to eat a lot of fish rather than red meat. My pet peeve is that my hands always reek after throwing dinner together! Lemon juice sometimes helps, but it makes my hands dry and if you have a cut, WATCH OUT! This bar sits at my kitchen sink right next to my Mrs. Meyers hand soap. I lather up then grab the bar and rub it around. Does the trick and does it fast! LOVE LOVE LOVE (and no, Crate & Barrel didn't make me post this)!

Second, pie crust protectors. I love to bake all kinds of things, but pies especially. It really gets my goat when the pie itself is perfect, but the crust burns. I used to wrap long skinny pieces of foil around the edges, but they'd fall off in the middle of the process and/or I'd burn myself trying to fix them mid-bake. These stay on and I can throw them right in the dishwasher afterwards. Since I have already baked 3 pies for today, they've basically paid for themselves!

What are the kitchen gadgets you can't live without?