Pouring My Heart Out : Mission Monkey

Today I am Pouring My Heart Out along with Shell over at Things I Can't Say. For more infomation or to join in, please go HERE.

I have been known to throw myself a pity party every so often where I wallow, wail, and expect everyone to join me. There was the time in sixth grade when I waged war against the Queen Bees, lost terribly, and was thenceforth relegated to the Worthless Wannabes; there was the time in eighth grade when I liked a boy who surprisingly didn't return my overbearing affections; there was the time in tenth grade when I didn't get into National Dork Honor Society (I got in the following year, however). And when I was 15, my dad revealed he was as queer as the day is long gay, moved out, and my parents got divorced: a triple header. That pity party lasted quite some time.

Once I finally got off Prozac I was off to college, where it didn't take long before I was back at it: Bid Day, 1994. I didn't get into the sorority I wanted. BOO freakin' HOO. To add insult to injury, there was nary an "A" in any English class I took (my major, I'm afraid).

Then I met the love of my life and we got married. YAY!

We tried to have kids & learned I have lazy ovaries. BOO! (commence pity party)

After our 2nd IVF attempt, we conceived & learned we were expecting twins. YAY!

Morning sickness set in quickly without warning. BOO! (pity party in bed all day)

Twins were born-- perfect, healthy girls. YAY!

I was home alone with them all day every day & I sucked at breastfeeding. BOO! (pity party with endless tears)

Even recently I've continued my pathetic pity party tradition. I had radiation treatment for my hyperthyroidism (Graves' Disease) and had to completely isolate myself in the basement for four days. BOO!

Last summer I had a hernia and surgery repaired it. But it's back. One of our girls also has one and it has to be fixed as well. Double hernia BOO!

I've had enough of my damn pity parties. I feel like a complete chump. There is nothing so serious or terrible in my life right now, and there's certainly nothing I can't handle or fix. We all have obstacles and bumps in the road, but there are much bigger fish to fry and we must maintain proper perspective. A prime example is Michelle, my bloggy friend, who has recently learned her little girl has Neuroblastoma. Go here and here to read more about it. I don't know about you, but I can't imagine what this would be like. I want to do everything I can to help spread the word. I am keeping Monkey, Michelle, and the entire family in my thoughts and prayers. I'm sure it would mean a lot to her if you went over there to say hello and let her know you are thinking about her.

Please visit Ian over at The Daily Dose of Reality for ways to contribute to the cause. Here's the thing---this could be my kid, your kid, or your best friend's kid.

Click on Monkey to donate...please help!

Look at this precious little face and for a moment close your eyes and imagine it's your baby. What would you do? How would you feel? And wouldn't you want everyone to help? I have 400+ followers. If each of you donated just $1 (by clicking on Monkey's picture), that would be over $400! I can't begin to imagine the financial, emotional, and physical weights upon Michelle and her family right now. Let's pull together and do what we can!

Pouring My Heart Out (About Chicken Nuggets, Jazzercise, Earth Day, Big Macs, and Jillian Michaels)

Today I am Pouring My Heart out along with the awesome Shell over at Things I Can't Say. If you'd like to link up or play along, please go here. You don't have to agree with everything I say, but like Shell, I'll ask you to be respectful and refrain from commenting if you have nothing positive to say.

Because Earth Day is this week, I've had a lot weighing heavily on my mind. I believe Earth Day should be EVERY day, not just once a year. People need to wake up, take notice, and really begin making changes before it's too late. In my humble opinion, it's already too late, but perhaps if we hurry we can catch up.
More about that tomorrow, though....


Earth Day is not only about caring for our planet, but caring for ourselves---by going back to the Earth, to natural things put down that Frosty and Super Size Fries, please, and to the way nature intended it.


I have always leaned towards eating healthy/organic/natural, but my intensity waxes and wanes. I shopped at Whole Foods over the weekend for the first time in a few months. It was a lovely (albeit expensive) experience. But you know what? The food tastes better. It's fresher. I love being surrounded by shelves, stacks and displays of everything good for you. While we were in the produce section a bubbly employee knelt down and offered my girls freshly cut hunks of Granny Smith apples, which they greedily gobbled up. I frequently shop in the organic/all-natural sections of other grocery stores because Whole Foods is not close to my home. But it's a few extra miles I'm going to travel more often from now on. Because it matters.

My wake-up call was this post by Jessica Gottlieb. While mostly about social media and its impact, it was also about our diet, our health, and how little we're teaching our children about basic nutrition. Read her post and watch the short video clip from Jamie Oliver's Food Revolution. Kids who don't recognize tomatoes, eggplants, potatoes? Appalling. Unreal. Ridiculous. We have only ourselves to blame when they squeal with delight at the sight of those hellish Golden Arches. The next time you turn into the drive-thru salivating over the idea of a Big Mac and fries, stop yourself and really think about what you are doing not only to yourself, but to your children. What examples are you setting?

Another wake-up call was this post by Dr. Joe, "Why You Should Drop The Soda Right Now." He cites staggering statistics about how much soda Americans are consuming compared with people in other countries. There are 12-14 teaspoons of sugar in every can of soda--revolting, no? Juice isn't much better. Unfortunately, diet soda isn't the solution with all of its artificial sweeteners. I quit drinking Diet Coke a long time ago and have never been better. I discovered the artificial sweeteners were giving me stomach pains.

I'm reading labels more closely. I don't want to buy stuff loaded with ingredients I can't pronounce. Yes, my kids will continue to eat chicken nuggets, but now I am buying the ones with all white meat, no artificial ingredients, no trans fats, etc.

I went through my fridge and pantry and tossed the undesirable things---things I'm too mortified to admit were hibernating in there. But it doesn't matter now because they're gone, and they won't be coming back.

You think your Yoplait yogurt is healthy? Think again---look at the label and see "high fructose corn syrup." Blech. Guess what? It's also in things like whole wheat BREAD. It's no wonder we've become so accustomed to liking sweet things. It's time for us to become responsible consumers, to read labels and take control, to think before we buy and before we take a bite.

Hmmm, what else? Let's turn off the tv, computer, video games, etc. and get up off our lazy bums. Let's get outside. Let's take our kids and our dogs for much-needed long walks. I just bought Jillian Michael's 30-Day Shred dvd to do at home. It's $8.99, you don't need to sign your life away, leave your house, or buy a gym membership to get fit (read: no excuses!). All you need is a mat (or a towel) and a set of hand weights (or cans of soup). Think about the example you're setting for your kids when they see you're excited about exercise (even if you're pretending a little bit). Think about how good YOU will feel, and how much your body will benefit from it. Guess what else? The Father Load is doing The Shred with me because that is how incredible it is. And because he cares about his health and his body, too.

I have one life. I have one body. I am finally starting to treat it like a temple.

This is my chance, your chance, our chance for something better.

Do it now. Make a change.What are you waiting for? Get those leg warmers on!

(image courtesy of @RosevilleRockLn on Twitter)

Pouring My Heart Out....

Shell over at Things I Can't Say has started a new tradition, and while I'm trying not to do too many memes, this one appeals to me and allows me to really write. To see what it's all about please go pay her a visit!

Yesterday I played tag with my daughters. We ran around the basement wild-eyed and laughing, stopping every few seconds to gasp, gulp and breathe. I watched their little-girl legs pumping and Izzy hitched up her curdoroy pants with one hand as she raced into the toy room with her wavy brown hair flapping behind her. I was "it," and made loud monster-like growls as I galloped after them to the tune of their high-pitched shrieks.

I tagged Abby first and swooped her up into the air with my arms around her little waist. Overtaken by a fit of infectious giggles, she was unable to speak. I quickly set her down on the carpet and took off running to the opposite side of the room again with Izzy hot on my heels. We ran in endless circles around the pool table, dizziness setting in. I pretended to be on the verge of collapse and allowed Abby to catch me again.

"You're it, Mommy," she sang happily, her eyes dancing.

Then I just stood perfectly still for a moment and memorized everything: the backs of those little-girl legs again; the flapping hair; the slightly sweaty smell of them; the red marker on Izzy's left hand and the slick, shiny thumb Abby took out of her mouth only when she was running.
Suddenly I was overcome with emotion.

You see, I have not played tag with my children in far too long. I have been too depressed. I have not delved into it too deeply here in my blog, but those of you who know me well know what's been going on.

Things are starting to look up. Slowly, I am changing. It is my hope that they will not remember the bad spots. That they will soon forget about the funk Mommy has been in. And even if they don't, I pray that they will forgive me and someday understand.

(my happy 'lil Jayhawks---before the big loss)

(watching cartoons upside down in jammies & slippers)