Exhibit A:
My Gap handbag I got on sale for $16.99 a few weeks ago. Looks innocent enough, right? Yeah, well, let's just say looks can be deceiving, people.
In true Ally Sheedy/Breakfast Club fashion, I dumped all its contents onto the living room floor. Then I took photos of things in small groups. However, please note that
In no particular order, here is everything that was/is in my bag.
1.) About 22 pieces of UNused Kleenex. Because it would be too easy to keep it in its handy little travel pack.
2.) New package of Heartgard for Monster. I don't accept plastic shopping bags, so sometimes I just stuff things in my purse.
3.) New package of Frontline for Monster. Got 1 vial free. Yay! I never get anything free! Well, I didn't. My dog did.
1.) Bag of almonds for me. Been using same Ziploc for them for entirely too long. Because I'm green. Or just gross, your call.
2.) Animal crackers, one pack per hooligan. Never ever leave home without sustenance for kiddos. And they have to be exactly the same, or it might cause World War III.
3.) Annie's fruity bunnies. The girls' favorite snack. One I can feel sorta good about. Maybe.
4.) Think Thin protein bar. My favorite meal on-the-go.
1.) Envirosax reusable pink bunny shopping bag. Holds up to 44 lbs. of stuff. Always keep one balled up in my purse.
2.) Purple reusable produce bag from Whole Foods. Always keep one in my purse.
3.) Small pack of Hello Kitty wipes. Because my kids had to have 'em & because Hello Kitty rocks.
4.) Pink composition book. For all the stuff I'm not writing or should be writing down.
5.) The Alchemist by Paulo Coelo. Haven't started reading it yet. Never be without reading material.
6.) Box of Altoids. Because I have halitosis. Or diarrhea of the mouth. Or something. I stink.
7.) Boxes of crayons from Nordstrom's Cafe. I think they get thrown away (after use) otherwise, so we bring them home. Like we need more crayons around here.
Misc. papers:
1.) Agenda from my most recent PJ Library Committee meeting with my notes scribbled all over it.
2.) Yellow menu from Great Harvest Bread. Because I absolutely need more carbs in my life.
3.) Black sunglasses case from Ann Taylor Loft.
4.) ASPCA brochure: 101 Things You Didn't Know Could Harm Your Pet. Because I love my doggie (and animals in general) and support the organization.
5.) PJ Library enrollment brochure so I can stalk Jews people while I'm on the go.
6.) Small, white bullet-shaped Natracare tampon. (under the sunglasses case) Because even when I'm in the red, I'm still green. But not like all Christmas-y, because I'm a Jew and we do Hanukkah over here.
7.) Flyer and hand-written notes from a workshop we recently attended where Susan Stiffelman spoke about "Parenting Without Power Struggles." One of my children who shall remain nameless is the reason we attended said conference. Hint: her name begins with "A." But I'm not saying anything more.
8.) Ginormous vet bill receipt for grooming and labs for Monster. But bonus-- a rebate form for the Heartgard! I can get 12 whole dollars back! Woohoo!
9.) Miscellaneous note/list of stuff I need to do but haven't yet. Oy vey.
1.) Pens--six of them. Because somehow, even with that many in my purse, I'm always digging for and unable to find one when I most need it.
2.) Random Hello Kitty band-aid. Because boo boo's happen. A lot. And only something with that god forsaken cat on it Hello Kitty can stop the fake tears.
3.) My regular key chain and my spare car key chain. Because it really makes sense to drive around with my spare key in case I lock myself out of my car.
4.) Contact lens case.
5.) Stupid Sprint cell phone. That doesn't give me any service in my own house.
6.) Small tube of Cetaphil hand lotion.
7.) Small bottle of hand sanitizer.
8.) Box of Shut The Hell Up gum. Just because I liked the box. 12 kinds of awesome, people.
9.) Hobo wallet from my BFF Shelly Kramer. It's da bomb diggity. And she has one just like it.
10.) Misc. hair clips/accessories including Hello Kitty ponytail holder. Because in case it's not obvious, we like that chic. I mean cat.
11.) Old bottle of Cymbalta which is now filled with various vitamins, Advil, and Pepcid for all the heartburn my kids give me.
12.) Plastic witch finger with red nail polish on that I was instructed to hold onto because someone else was too lazy tired busy to hold it herself.
So let's see what's in YOUR bag!
