Blissdom, here I come!

As if this space isn't already selfish enough about me, I thought I'd copy Crayon Wrangler and write a special post dedicated to Blissdom, the upcoming conference I'm attending. Just so we can get the initial awkwardness over with, I'm going to introduce myself here and get all the small talk out of the way. Mmmmm'kay?

I'm Erin & this is me with my kiddos. Yes they are twins. No, they are not identical. Yes, I knew I was having twins. No, twins do not run in our family.

No, these little darlings are not coming with me.

This conference is about me, not my kids.

I'm a nervous conference newbie. Although I know my roommates pretty well (@elainea & @birdonthestreet), Blissdom is big, the Opryland Hotel is huge, and I'm feeling very, very small. I'm grateful for the Blissdom column I've created in Tweetdeck so I can easily "meet" and "see" everyone beforehand and try to match names and faces with blog titles, etc. But please forgive me if I confuse you with someone else or call you by the wrong name.

I'm going to Nashville to learn how to be a better writer and blogger. I'm a sponge just dying to absorb absolutely everything I can. I'm going so I can meet other people who want similar things and network with them. We will learn from each other, too.

I tend to be shy. I love to laugh and I giggle a lot when I'm anxious. I have to fight the urge to go hide in a corner. I'm terrible at starting up conversations. But next week I am going to stuff all my insecurities so I can get the most out of the conference, out of you, and out of myself. I don't want to waste those three precious days worrying about the kids, the dog, and whether or not the house is on fire; this is my time. And you know what? I am fun, damn it. So let's hang out and have a blast!

Blissdom is my gift to myself: it's for me, about me. Because I'm worth it.

What about you? If you're not going to Blissdom, what have you done for yourself lately?

Jump.

At first I thought I was free falling, Tom Petty style. But I'm too Type A for that.

I realized I'm jumping headlong. I'm in the middle of a daring, deliberate, exciting, exuberant leap--into 2011. In my OCD way, I've thought about it long & hard but it's time to shit or get off the pot  so it's time I make a conscious JUMP. Like this one, only perhaps slightly less graceful.



I'm attending my first bona fide writing/blogging conference, Blissdom, in Nashville next month. I have two kick-ass roommates, both Louisiana gals: @elainea & @birdonthestreet. Initially I was on the fence about it, but while at lunch with my mom and Katy (@birdonthestreet), there was some serious arm twisting going on the lightbulb went off. And The Voice said:

What are you waiting for?

Now is your time. It's your turn.

Just go for it, you deserve this. You need this.

This will help you start writing your story. It's your time.

A lot of this also stems from the incredible book I just finished, Love Your Mess, by @AllisonNazarian. I'm embracing myself as I am, while at the same time taking steps toward a new me, a me who is comfortable in her own skin. I. LOVE. MY. MESS. Put that in your pipe and smoke it, people.


What are you jumping into for 2011? It's okay to be scared.

Going Home Again

Yesterday I drove east down West Esplanade in Metairie, watching the egrets stand on their spindly legs: small, yet still so regal. Ducks splashing in the murky-watered canal, some even hanging out right next to the road. Memories came back to me in a flood, the nostalgia washing over me in tumbling waves.

I passed the old, run down Torah Academy with blue siding which is now vacant--my old "marker." Seeing that place every morning on the way to school made my stomach knot up. Because I knew Hell was just around the corner.

I took our girls there yesterday--to my old elementary/high school, Ecole Classique in Metairie. Parking in the white shell lot felt the same; too many pot holes, too uneven. Those bumps were supposed to discourage us highschoolers from driving too fast or doing donuts. The girls and I crossed through the gate holding hands and went inside. It was dark and eerily quiet. If there were any demons lurking, I didn't feel them.

I asked the girls to climb up onto the bleachers, the very same ones I sat on during pep rallies in the early 90s. I'd stomp my feet, clap my hands and shout, hoping our class would win the Spirit Stick. And at the same time always wishing I was one of those girls in the fun blue, white and yellow uniforms making the crowd go crazy.

So many memories spring up for me here. Maybe it's good, maybe it's bad, or maybe it's just that I'll never let go of some things. I don't really know. And that is okay.

On my way to meet Elaine of The Miss-Elaineous Life, "Tiny Dancer" by Elton John came on the radio and jolted me. Eons ago, someone told me that song reminded him of me, though I'm not sure why. But I love the lyrics and since they're stuck in my head, they'll be stuck in yous now, too:



Do you have lots of vivid memories? What happens when you go to places that hold so much meaning for you? Someone recently told me people should just concentrate on moving forward and forget about the past. But can you? Can I?

Laughter That Makes Tea Come Out of Your Nose

Today Elaine from The Miss Elaine-ous Life is taking over my blog!



Elaine is a bloggy friend who was one of my first followers. She's an amazing mom to three gorgeous children, and I'm jealous because she now lives in my home state (Louisiana). She recently moved there from Texas, so it's been an adjustment, but she's dealt with it really well. I adore her blog and she's definitely one to follow. You can also find her on Twitter here. Without further adieu, I give you the intelligent, witty and kind Elaine!

As we approach the holidays I've been thinking about my family.


And when I say "my family," I mean my parents and my brothers. The people I grew up with, the ones who raised me and that I was raised with.

I cried like a child earlier at the preview episode of the show Find My Family. For some reason (and I honestly don't know why) the whole subject of adoption and people being separated from their siblings and parents makes me bawl every time. It's the reunion part that really gets me. I truly cannot imagine the feeling of coming face-to-face with the parents who gave you up and looking into the eyes that are also yours, for the very first time as an adult.

It's completely heart-wrenching to me. I suppose because my family means SO VERY much to me.

When I think about my childhood I remember Friday night fried chicken, fun birthday parties, visiting my grandparents a lot, loving school, shopping at the mall with my mother, sleep-overs with my best girlfriends, holidays with lots of food and presents, going to church with my parents and so MANY other good memories.

But in a way, as I got older (and so did my brothers - who are all several years older than I am) I was sort of like an only child. Therefore, the earlier childhood memories I do have with my brothers are pretty special.

I remember my middle brother Chris comforting me one night after my mother and I fought. He surrounded me on my bed with stuffed animals and made me laugh instead of cry.

When I was in high school my brother Larry would still occasionally eat dinner with us and most nights it would end in crazy laughter. There were many times that my mother could not control herself and as things escalated one evening, iced tea came out of her nose. All four of us (me, my mother, my father and my brother) were laughing so hard that we could hardly catch our breath.

These are the kind of memories I want my children to have. I want them to remember laughing around the dinner table and happy times together.

I may even be willing to make tea come out of my nose to make it happen.

And just for the heck of it, here's an old little joke/rhyme my mother used to tell that still makes me giggle. Partly because I can hear her say it and picture her as she starts to laugh before she even finishes the second line...

"Farmer Brown went to town with a bale of Hay

Mr. Martin came a fartin' and blew it all away!"

You're welcome... ; )

**Comments are off because I want you to go over to Elaine's place and leave her some love there!