Lies & 1 Truth

The glorious Tulpen Elefanten of Bad Words tagged me in her Memetastic post. Since I haven't done anything fun here in a while according to The Father Load , I'm going to participate.

Here's the poop scoop on this game/meme, according to Tulpen:

You must list 5 things about yourself; 4 of them must be bold-faced lies. Just make some shit up, we'll never know; one of them has to be true, though. Of course, nobody will ever know the difference, so we're just on the honor system here. I trust you. Except for the 4 you lied about, you lying bastards! But don't go crazy trying to think of stuff as we're not really interested in quality here. Then you must pass this on to 5 bloggers.

Now for the 4 lies and a truth:

1. When I was six my baby brother, Kevin, was born and I was super jealous. My parents had just given me this book with its all-too-vivid illustrations of two cartoon characters doing the sex:

image courtesy of Amazon.com

So I asked my brother, Mark, who was four at the time, to help me in my pregnancy endeavors. I ordered him to lie on top of me (I bossed him & he did everything I said) so we could make a baby STAT. He did, we snorted and giggled, and then I told him we were all done. Needless to say, no baby was made that day.

2.) As I was going through security at Nashville airport yesterday, I got stopped because I forgot to put my Poo Potpourri in a ziploc bag. I was mortified, but the TSA guy just chuckled and shook his head,  then handed it back to me.

image courtesy of http://poopourri.com/

3.) I brought The Father Load's giant suitcase to Blissdom and sweated like a pig hauling it through the Gaylord Opryland. What's up with calling it Gaylord, anyway? I always overpack. It's silly because why was I trying to dress to impress 600+ women and four men? I got lost approximately 22 times in 72 hours. I can't read maps. The highlight of the conference? When KLZ (Taming Insanity) ate my banana. Ooooooh. That was HAWT.
 

image courtesy of photobucket.com

4.) I'm hopelessly in love with Natalie Portman. I loved her in Black Swan. Because apparently I'm all dark, heavy, and twisty like that. But aren't many writers born out of dark and twisty lives like Sylvia Plath who stuck her head in the oven?

images courtesy of Google.com

5.) These are my feet:

image courtesy of Google.com

I've chosen to pass this nonsense along to these lucky ladies (who you should be following, DUH):
1.) Terri Sonoda (@Tsonoda)
2.) Snuggle Wasteland (@MsWasteland)
3.) Totally Ovar It (@TotallyOvarIt)
4.) Taming Insanity (@TamingInsanity)
5.) Crayon Wrangler (@CrayonWrangler)


Cheers!

Blissdom, here I come!

As if this space isn't already selfish enough about me, I thought I'd copy Crayon Wrangler and write a special post dedicated to Blissdom, the upcoming conference I'm attending. Just so we can get the initial awkwardness over with, I'm going to introduce myself here and get all the small talk out of the way. Mmmmm'kay?

I'm Erin & this is me with my kiddos. Yes they are twins. No, they are not identical. Yes, I knew I was having twins. No, twins do not run in our family.

No, these little darlings are not coming with me.

This conference is about me, not my kids.

I'm a nervous conference newbie. Although I know my roommates pretty well (@elainea & @birdonthestreet), Blissdom is big, the Opryland Hotel is huge, and I'm feeling very, very small. I'm grateful for the Blissdom column I've created in Tweetdeck so I can easily "meet" and "see" everyone beforehand and try to match names and faces with blog titles, etc. But please forgive me if I confuse you with someone else or call you by the wrong name.

I'm going to Nashville to learn how to be a better writer and blogger. I'm a sponge just dying to absorb absolutely everything I can. I'm going so I can meet other people who want similar things and network with them. We will learn from each other, too.

I tend to be shy. I love to laugh and I giggle a lot when I'm anxious. I have to fight the urge to go hide in a corner. I'm terrible at starting up conversations. But next week I am going to stuff all my insecurities so I can get the most out of the conference, out of you, and out of myself. I don't want to waste those three precious days worrying about the kids, the dog, and whether or not the house is on fire; this is my time. And you know what? I am fun, damn it. So let's hang out and have a blast!

Blissdom is my gift to myself: it's for me, about me. Because I'm worth it.

What about you? If you're not going to Blissdom, what have you done for yourself lately?