I'll Show You Mine if You Show Me Yours, or, The Crap That Lives In My Purse.

I've seen posts like this all over the Blogosphere lately, so I'm finally jumping on the bandwagon. I wish I remembered where I'd seen them all so I could give credit where credit is due. If you know, please email me so I can edit this to include those bloggers!

Exhibit A:
My Gap handbag I got on sale for $16.99 a few weeks ago. Looks innocent enough, right? Yeah, well, let's just say looks can be deceiving, people.

Exhibit B: This is me. Apparently.


In true Ally Sheedy/Breakfast Club fashion, I dumped all its contents onto the living room floor. Then I took photos of things in small groups. However, please note that not surprisingly, no makeup, fun headbands, or Capn' Crunch cereal were found in my purse.

In no particular order, here is everything that was/is in my bag.

1.) About 22 pieces of UNused Kleenex. Because it would be too easy to keep it in its handy little travel pack.

2.) New package of Heartgard for Monster. I don't accept plastic shopping bags, so sometimes I just stuff things in my purse.

3.) New package of Frontline for Monster. Got 1 vial free. Yay! I never get anything free! Well, I didn't. My dog did.

1.) Bag of almonds for me. Been using same Ziploc for them for entirely too long. Because I'm green. Or just gross, your call.

2.) Animal crackers, one pack per hooligan. Never ever leave home without sustenance for kiddos. And they have to be exactly the same, or it might cause World War III.

3.) Annie's fruity bunnies. The girls' favorite snack. One I can feel sorta good about. Maybe.

4.) Think Thin protein bar. My favorite meal on-the-go.

1.) Envirosax reusable pink bunny shopping bag. Holds up to 44 lbs. of stuff. Always keep one balled up in my purse.

2.) Purple reusable produce bag from Whole Foods. Always keep one in my purse.

3.) Small pack of Hello Kitty wipes. Because my kids had to have 'em & because Hello Kitty rocks.

4.) Pink composition book. For all the stuff I'm not writing or should be writing down.

5.) The Alchemist by Paulo Coelo. Haven't started reading it yet. Never be without reading material.

6.) Box of Altoids. Because I have halitosis. Or diarrhea of the mouth. Or something. I stink.

7.) Boxes of crayons from Nordstrom's Cafe. I think they get thrown away (after use) otherwise, so we bring them home. Like we need more crayons around here.

Misc. papers:

1.) Agenda from my most recent PJ Library Committee meeting with my notes scribbled all over it.

2.) Yellow menu from Great Harvest Bread. Because I absolutely need more carbs in my life.

3.) Black sunglasses case from Ann Taylor Loft.

4.) ASPCA brochure: 101 Things You Didn't Know Could Harm Your Pet. Because I love my doggie (and animals in general) and support the organization.

5.) PJ Library enrollment brochure so I can stalk Jews people while I'm on the go.

6.) Small, white bullet-shaped Natracare tampon. (under the sunglasses case) Because even when I'm in the red, I'm still green. But not like all Christmas-y, because I'm a Jew and we do Hanukkah over here.

7.) Flyer and hand-written notes from a workshop we recently attended where Susan Stiffelman spoke about "Parenting Without Power Struggles." One of my children who shall remain nameless is the reason we attended said conference. Hint: her name begins with "A." But I'm not saying anything more.

8.) Ginormous vet bill receipt for grooming and labs for Monster. But bonus-- a rebate form for the Heartgard! I can get 12 whole dollars back! Woohoo!

9.) Miscellaneous note/list of stuff I need to do but haven't yet. Oy vey.

1.) Pens--six of them. Because somehow, even with that many in my purse, I'm always digging for and unable to find one when I most need it.

2.) Random Hello Kitty band-aid. Because boo boo's happen. A lot. And only something with that god forsaken cat on it Hello Kitty can stop the fake tears.

3.) My regular key chain and my spare car key chain. Because it really makes sense to drive around with my spare key in case I lock myself out of my car.

4.) Contact lens case.

5.) Stupid Sprint cell phone. That doesn't give me any service in my own house.

6.) Small tube of Cetaphil hand lotion.

7.) Small bottle of hand sanitizer.

8.) Box of Shut The Hell Up gum. Just because I liked the box. 12 kinds of awesome, people.

9.) Hobo wallet from my BFF Shelly Kramer. It's da bomb diggity. And she has one just like it.

10.) Misc. hair clips/accessories including Hello Kitty ponytail holder. Because in case it's not obvious, we like that chic. I mean cat.

11.) Old bottle of Cymbalta which is now filled with various vitamins, Advil, and Pepcid for all the heartburn my kids give me.

12.) Plastic witch finger with red nail polish on that I was instructed to hold onto because someone else was too lazy tired busy to hold it herself.

So let's see what's in YOUR bag!

Shelly Kramer and I Are Buying a Cow. You Should, Too.

Yes, I know the title is misleading because, well, I've recently gone vegetarian. But because I have not converted my husband or kidlets, I am still buying meat for them.

My social media expert and very knowledgeable BFF @ShellyKramer approached me recently as she knows me to be a Green Gal. We're both disgusted by what goes on behind the scenes in the food industry (see Food, Inc. for further details), and are concerned for our health and that of our children. Fortunately, Shelly is friends with a farmer in NE Kansas, and so we have the exciting opportunity to purchase a local, GRASS-fed (as opposed to corn-fed) cow that hasn't been treated with hormones and is allowed to graze naturally. Shelly and I are looking for other locals to go in on this cow with us (it's a lot of meat), so if you are interested, please get in touch with me a.s.a.p.

I just spent 20 minutes on the phone with Deborah, the farmer, who said that right now our cow is hanging out in a 40-acre pasture. The cows on the farm are rotated around the pastures in herds of about 15. They are not confined because that is what causes diseases. They are a licensed, certified organic farm, and their meat is federally inspected. Deborah said they "don't sell to just anyone," that ideally their goal is to build relationships with people who want to know their farmers and where their food is coming from. Isn't that incredible?

We will take the girls to visit the farm this fall and get to see our cow. I think that somehow, watching him just chillin' eating his grass and hay will help me feel a teensy bit better. At least he is living a pleasant life now, unlike his counterparts squeezed into cow lots, injected with hormones and antibiotics, never seeing the light of day and unable to move while standing in their own feces.

Now before you get your panties in a wad and start thinking I'm going all granola, I assure you I am not (not that granola is bad at all, in fact I kinda wish I was more granola-y). So here are some other (random) things about me:

• Yesterday I ate a non-organic apple with non-organic peanut butter
• I drive a gas-slugging minivan. And was belting out Bananarama on my way home from a grocery store that was not Whole Foods (although I try to shop there frequently).
• We have been drinking local Shatto milk for years now; and I only just realized that while it's a local dairy and they use glass bottles which I love, the cows are fed some corn. This gives me the sads. The cows are not given hormones, however. Whew!
• Some of my fave good-for-you/organic/all natural food brands include Kashi, Back to Nature, Stonyfield, Annie's Homegrown, & Newman's Own Organics.
• Occasionally Twinkies find their way into the pantry, and typically The Father Load is to blame for this.
• I have lofty notions of buying a Prius when the girls are a little older/bigger.
• I think I may be failing miserably at composting. Can someone please come evaluate the contents of my tumbler? I may also be tumbling too vigorously, as twice the contraption has belched out its contents all over the place. So I had to put it all back in by hand. It was tres lovely.
• FOR LADIES ONLY: you should seriously consider organic tampons. Did you know that they use chemicals like bleach on your Kotex/Playtex, etc? I don't want bleach & chemicals up inside of me where they're absorbed. I bought a Diva Cup a while back, but my ob/gyn told me best not to use it because of menstrual backflow which can lead to endometriosis.

Anycow, I am saying all this because I want you to know that I'm not perfect. There are Twinkies in my cupboard sometimes, there is garbage at my curb every Monday, and I still use paper towels (not as much). I've thought about chucking it all and going back to the way things used to be, wondering if one person/one family can really make a difference. But I've come too far. I am learning and educating myself more every day. Baby steps.

I encourage you once again to watch Food, Inc. Add it to your Netflix queue, go to Blockbuster, or see if it's playing On-Demand. We have got to start educating ourselves and moving in a better, healthier direction.