still funkified

i'm still feeling funkified and had labs drawn on monday. i spoke with my endocrinologist's nurse to let her know everything going on (the depression, exhaustion, irritability, and now--more swelling in my neck). she put a note in my chart and when my results are in they'll call me and let me know the scoop, i guess. it just sucks feeling this way, and worrying about how long it could potentially last.

in the meantime, i've also started putting on weight and i'm horrified. i'm stepping up the pace on my workouts to hopefully avoid anything major, but i suspect it may be out of my control. i don't even know if a crash diet would help (and i'm not really good at diets, period) since the thyroid is responsible for regulating metabolism. since i'm now hypothyroid, that means my metabolism has slowed waaaay down. lovely. plus since i'm depressed, all i really want to do is eat. UGH.

in other news, i now own a minivan. a Toyota Sienna. we love it. very nice. lots different than my Explorer (sort of got used to driving a truck and forgot what a car is like), much nicer, and we can actually fit other people in the car comfortably/normally now (in the explorer we couldn't really access the 3rd row of seats). i never thought i'd be driving a minivan, but it is awesome for little kids. the doors and the trunk open with remote, there's a dvd player, bluetooth, navi system, and seat warmers in the front! woohoo! and when i get too close to something in the front or rear, the car beeps furiously. and when i'm in reverse, the navi screen turns into a camera and i can see behind me. love it. the girls love it, too, and love that they can push a button to close their doors.

i am trying to step up my jazzercise schedule starting this week to combat the weight gain. but sometimes class is hard for me....there are some women who are very thin there. too thin, really, like anorexic thin. and while i know that is unhealthy/scary/not something i should aspire to, i can't help but admire their discipline. how screwy is that? i don't want to be as skinny as they are, but it would be nice if i could just stick with a program and not ever eat any junk food and work out 5-6 times a week. i'm just not sure i'm capable of being that hard core. it is almost physically painful for me to watch these women in jazzercise class---their bones jutting out, their clothes hanging on/falling off of their tiny frames...one of them can't be more than 80 pounds, and she's tall like me. i also think shame on jazzercise for allowing her/them to continue to come in looking that way. at the very least i hope they ask for a doctor's note or something because otherwise i'm afraid she's going to have a heart attack in class one day. don't get me wrong---i understand about food being the enemy and what it is to obsess and focus on every morsel that enters my mouth....but i feel as if there needs to be an intervention of some sort. sure, jazzercise is making money off of her/them, but don't they have any obligations? you can't tell me the instructors don't notice. or perhaps they're not supposed to accuse/interfere/etc. sigh. i just don't know.

we are moving in a month and i'm getting a little stressed. i know it will all work out fine, but...packing is driving me batty. you can only pack so much when you're a month out.