Saturday, May 30, 2009

NOLA bound

So two weeks from today we'll be in NOLA. I'm super psyched and really looking forward to it. We'll be celebrating my dad's 60th birthday and just hanging out. Dan is staying for 1/2 the week, but the girls and I will be there for a full week...which means that I'll be flying solo with them on the way back to KC. I'm trying to push the thought way to the back of my mind so I don't obsess about it. I've never flown with them on my own before, and I'm not the greatest flyer to begin with. I am mostly just worried about handling them and any tantrums/fits & trips to the lovely, germ-ridden airplane restroom--because I have no doubt at least one of my children will feel the need to christen it at some point during that day, despite using the airport restrooms prior to and in between flights (we have a layover in Dallas).

I've bought them their first official little backpacks and am going to stuff them liberally with crayons, little notebooks, Barbies, toy cell phones, candy, stickers, etc. We also have a portable dvd player. Beyond that, I'm simply going to pray. And have a drink if necessary (though that could potentially look very bad and I certainly don't want anyone calling Child Protection Services on me). In the past on various occasions I've been able to rely on the kindness of complete strangers. Having twins seems to attract attention anyway, and other moms in particular are usually very helpful/sympathetic. So we'll see. We haven't traveled very much with the girls at all, and when we have the destination has always been New Orleans. It is my hope that this will go well and perhaps I could even take them on my own for a long weekend or two later in the summer...

In other news, I think I've plateaued/hit a wall with Jazzercise. I'm not getting any smaller/losing any weight....which is frustrating because the routines change every 10 weeks for that very reason---to trick your body into thinking you're doing new exercises. Some of my shorts from last summer are too tight---and I was considering that perhaps I've added more bulk to my body (i.e. muscle). My thyroid has also been all over the place. I am trying not to get on the scale as frequently because it makes me sad. I hate focusing on a number, and I am incapable of starving myself. Maybe someday I will look back at this time and wish I hadn't spent it obsessing/being unhappy with my figure. But for now I can't help it. The grass is always greener. Part of it is accepting that I do not have a tiny frame---I am big boned. I am tall. I am not petite. I will never be one of those cute little things. I am me. And I need to learn to be okay with that.

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