one of those days

Dear Diary,

It's one of those days around here, you know the ones.

I stepped in dog poop. I yelled at my kids. I have a zit on my chin. My hair is inexcusably nasty. I need to exercise more. The stomach flu is going around and I'm worried our number is nearly up. The house is a mess. I can't keep up. We're moving in February. I don't know what I'm doing. Thank goodness we have a decorator now, but I think he thinks I'm a moron and we don't have a clue (we don't).

I go in fits and spurts where I work harder to be a better mom & wife, and then I fall off the wagon. I can never keep all the balls in the air at once. I want to cry. I want to be the perfect mom, supermom, superwife. But I can't. As soon as I get one facet of my life under control, something else falls by the wayside. I might start cooking more/cooking better, but then I'm not putting as much effort into my appearance. Or I might make a real effort to do more things with the girls and limit the tv, but then dinner doesn't get made (or it turns out poorly b/c I am multitasking, or because I forgot 2 of the ingredients as I was chasing my twins through the grocery store).

I don't know how my friends who work and have little ones do it. I feel like I should be able to do this and do it easily/well. I have excuses for everything...like most recently, Dan was sick and also the girls have been waking lots at night for various reasons---Abby to pee, and Izzy due to ear pain (and let's not even go there b/c I am so stressed and tied up in knots about that---we just got confirmation her tubes have fallen out). So sleep isn't something any of us are getting much of lately. So then I am automatically more prone to skipping workouts, or to putting a frozen pizza in the oven, or to leaving the tv on to help me catch up on other things....

We are taking the girls to see the Doo Dads tonight at the Record Bar in Westport. Perhaps that will help make up for what a terrible mother I am!