Tips & tricks

Lately I have discovered some tips & tricks for instant weight loss BEFORE getting on the scale every morning. I think it's my duty to share these so that others may benefit from my expertise. It's crucial to weigh yourself first thing in the morning before eating anything. You should also aim to weigh yourself at the same time each day. But I bet you didn't realize all the other ways to lose those pesky extra ounces:

1.) Remove ALL clothing.
2.) Remove any hair accessories, i.e. ponytail holders, bobby pins, and clips.
3.) Pluck your eyebrows. Vigorously.
4.) Shave your legs. All the way, not halfway.
5.) Pee and poop.
6.) Trim your fingernails down to the quick and remove your nail polish.
7.) Get a Brazilian bikini wax.
8.) Take off any and all jewelry, including rings, necklaces, nipple ring, etc.
9.) Poop again, if you can.
10.) Blow your nose. Hard. Use your neti pot.
11.) If you have showered, make sure your hair is thoroughly dry and retains no water.
12.) Brush your teeth and gargle with Listerine to kill those nasty bacteria.
13.) Consider a hair cut. Or at least a trim.
14.) Do not put on any products until after you've weighed in. This includes, but is not limited to the following: moisturizer, makeup, deodorant, lotion, or hair products/spray.
15.) Expel all of the air from your lungs prior to stepping on your scale. Do not inhale until your weight has registered.

Can you help me think of any more?