Shell over at Things I Can't Say has started a new tradition, and while I'm trying not to do too many memes, this one appeals to me and allows me to really write. To see what it's all about please go pay her a visit!
Yesterday I played tag with my daughters. We ran around the basement wild-eyed and laughing, stopping every few seconds to gasp, gulp and breathe. I watched their little-girl legs pumping and Izzy hitched up her curdoroy pants with one hand as she raced into the toy room with her wavy brown hair flapping behind her. I was "it," and made loud monster-like growls as I galloped after them to the tune of their high-pitched shrieks.
I tagged Abby first and swooped her up into the air with my arms around her little waist. Overtaken by a fit of infectious giggles, she was unable to speak. I quickly set her down on the carpet and took off running to the opposite side of the room again with Izzy hot on my heels. We ran in endless circles around the pool table, dizziness setting in. I pretended to be on the verge of collapse and allowed Abby to catch me again.
"You're it, Mommy," she sang happily, her eyes dancing.
Then I just stood perfectly still for a moment and memorized everything: the backs of those little-girl legs again; the flapping hair; the slightly sweaty smell of them; the red marker on Izzy's left hand and the slick, shiny thumb Abby took out of her mouth only when she was running.
Suddenly I was overcome with emotion.
You see, I have not played tag with my children in far too long. I have been too depressed. I have not delved into it too deeply here in my blog, but those of you who know me well know what's been going on.
Things are starting to look up. Slowly, I am changing. It is my hope that they will not remember the bad spots. That they will soon forget about the funk Mommy has been in. And even if they don't, I pray that they will forgive me and someday understand.
(my happy 'lil Jayhawks---before the big loss)
(watching cartoons upside down in jammies & slippers)
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