I Feel Bad About My Feet

Admittedly we all have our hangups. Some of us focus on one, while others (like yours truly) obsess daily over several. Fortunately my biggest problem was my honkin' Jewish rather large nose. Being called "Witch Nose" in elementary school & junior high was no picnic, let me tell you. But it was nothing short of pure brilliance on my part when I pounced on my newly-gay dad (well, not newly gay, just newly gay to me) and my newly-single mother, begging them for a nose job immediately after my dad moved out. Guilt is only a useless emotion in certain circumstances, you see. When you feel badly for shattering your Norman Rockwell family coming out of the closet, you will pay most any price for forgiveness. No, I am not going to share my pre-op photos here---just picture Mayim Bialik from that old sitcom "Blossom." In fact, once my classmates finally got a conscience matured, "Blossom" replaced "Witch Nose" as my moniker.



A nose job in the summer of 1996 gave me a new lease on life. I'm still really grateful that my parents not only allowed me to do it, but paid for it and cared for me in the rather uncomfortable aftermath (though they said my nose was "fine," made me "unique" and a load of other shiggedy that I didn't believe).


Anynose, after that was fixed I moved on to my second biggest hangup, which I am still stuck on and no surgery exists that will remedy the situation. I loathe my feet. And I kinda hate feet in general, but not if they are cute & clean. My feet are clean, of course. But they are all manner of fugly. Even a little OPI California Raspberry polish can't conceal the hideousness. I blame my mother for the width and I blame my father for my ugly toes. There, I've said it. It's out there, and there's no taking it back. Now you know why I hate summer (besides the fact that I sweat like a pig). Winter is my friend because no flip flops or sandals are involved.

I

HATE

MY

FEET!

**I accidentally hit publish at this point, and panicked. I wasn't done. But then I thought maybe I should just leave it as is. So I did. Except for this---

It could always be worse--my feet could look like this:

So what are your hangups? Or do you only have one?